A Life of Her Own Read online

  FIONA MCCALLUM has enjoyed a life of contrasts. She was raised on a cereal and wool farm in rural South Australia and then moved to inner-city Melbourne to study at university as a mature-age student. Accidentally starting a writing and editing consultancy saw her mixing in corporate circles in Melbourne and then Sydney. She returned to Adelaide for a slower paced life and to chase her dream of becoming an author – which took nearly a decade full of rejections from agents and publishers to achieve. Fiona now works as a full-time novelist and really is proof dreams can come true. Fiona writes heartwarming stories of self-discovery that draw on her life experiences, love of animals and fascination with the human condition. She is the author of ten Australian bestsellers: Paycheque, Nowhere Else, Wattle Creek, Saving Grace, Time Will Tell, Meant To Be, Leap of Faith, Standing Strong, Finding Hannah and Making Peace. A Life of Her Own is Fiona’s eleventh novel.

  More information about Fiona and her books can be found on her website, www.fionamccallum.com. Fiona can also be followed on Facebook at www.facebook.com/FionaMcCallum.author.

  Also by Fiona McCallum

  Paycheque

  Nowhere Else

  Leap of Faith

  The Wattle Creek series

  Wattle Creek

  Standing Strong

  The Button Jar series

  Saving Grace

  Time Will Tell

  Meant To Be

  Finding Hannah

  Making Peace

  A Life of Her Own

  Fiona McCallum

  www.harlequinbooks.com.au

  To all who have been preyed upon by bullies and manipulators: May you find your strength, freedom and peace.

  Contents

  Also by Fiona McCallum

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter One

  Alice heard David’s key in the front door. She raced up the hall and waited until he’d put his bags down and closed the door behind him before throwing her arms around his neck.

  ‘Welcome home – to your new home!’ she cried, determined to treat it as a celebration. He travelled so much she usually didn’t bother to make a fuss on his return – for David, coming back from Europe or Asia was pretty much the same as coming in from the Melbourne office half an hour away – but as it was the first time he’d come home to their new abode, she thought it warranted a bit of extra fuss.

  ‘Thanks,’ he said, grinning. ‘Hooray, all the boxes have gone. Well done, you.’ He pecked her on the lips before easing her away from him.

  Alice didn’t feel as if she’d been dismissed – they weren’t a very touchy-feely couple. She’d been a little disappointed in the beginning, nearly four years ago, but she had become accustomed to his lack of romance and displays of affection. David had plenty of other fine qualities.

  ‘I’m a bit manky,’ he said. ‘I didn’t get to have a shower in Singapore.’ He left his bags where they were and strode down the hall, into their spacious open-plan living and dining area. ‘Oh, wow, how much better does this place look with everything unpacked?’ He folded his arms across his chest and slowly did a three-sixty degree turn, taking in the space, a smug, satisfied expression plastered across his face. ‘Yum, something smells good.’

  ‘I’ve got a lasagne in the oven. I thought you might be craving something home cooked.’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ he said with a contented sigh. ‘Do I have time for a quick shower?’

  ‘Yep. No problem.’

  *

  Alice was just putting their plates heaped with lasagne and green salad on the table when David walked back in. She smiled at seeing his tousled dark hair and casual attire – loose track pants and t-shirt. She loved him in a suit too, but to Alice this was more her man, and a side no one at his work ever saw. David Green was the epitome of cool, calm, collected, controlled, and driven – and he dressed accordingly. Sometimes it seemed to Alice as if by putting on his suit David was putting on a costume and getting into character. She had always kept this thought to herself. David didn’t like being made fun of, no matter how innocuous. Not that he didn’t have a sense of humour. He did. But he was very ambitious and took his career, money and success very seriously. He’d worked hard to be able to afford this house – well, for the deposit, anyway.

  They were staring down the barrel of thirty years of being tethered to the bank. Of course Alice had helped a little with the hefty deposit. She would have been happy with a small fixer-upper, but that didn’t suit the image David was keen to project. Anyway, with him travelling all the time, when would it ever get done up? No, this place might not exactly be to her taste, but it was a sensible plan for their future. And oh how she loved no longer having to traipse from property to property all weekend, every weekend, and stand around at auctions being beaten by wealthy, cashed-up investors who were simply adding to their portfolios.

  A little over a month ago, she’d been stunned when she realised they were the successful bidders for this place, so much so she’d stood there in silence for a moment wondering what had happened after the hammer had gone down. And then, instead of jumping up and down, Alice and David had stared at each other with their mouths open and eyes wide until real estate agents flanked them and clasped them each by an elbow and urged them towards the house to sign the papers.

  Now, here they were, in for just over a week and boxes and all signs of moving out of sight. They were now able to properly breathe and settle into their new home. Alice was sure she’d grow to love it, find character in its new construction and clean, sharp lines, and bright white walls.

  ‘So, tell me about your trip,’ Alice said after they’d clinked glasses of wine and each taken a long, satisfied sip.

  ‘Same old. Planes, meetings, hotel rooms, lunches, dinners, and not much else. How was your week? Hopefully more interesting than mine, though unpacking probably isn’t so much fun. I hope you managed to rake up some hours for Todd.’

  ‘I have some news on that front, actually. Look what Todd gave me today,’ she said, taking a large envelope from the chair beside her and handing it to David. Todd was a friend of David’s from uni – a few months ago he had given her a casual job doing some market research and cold-calling for the packaging firm where he was business development manager.

  ‘What’s this?’ David asked, opening it up.

  Alice didn’t say a word while he extracted two A4 pages and slowly read them. After she and Todd had talked about the offer, Alice had left the CEO’s office feeling as if she’d been given the opportunity of a lifetime, even if sh
e wasn’t all that excited about it. She’d felt flattered, which was a pleasant change after all the fruitless job hunting she’d done. But the more she thought about it, the less excited she became. Marketing for packaging? She’d rolled it around on her tongue several times, trying to muster some enthusiasm, and failed. If it were not for the fact Todd was a friend and would mention it to David in due course, if he hadn’t already, she might have torn the offer up and pretended it had never existed. Anyway, what successful company took a risk on an unknown like Alice with such an important position as marketing?

  ‘Oh wow. A permanent job. That’s great,’ David said, leaning over and kissing her. ‘Phew, well, we certainly need this,’ he added.

  ‘Yeah,’ Alice said, digging her fork into her meal.

  ‘So why haven’t you signed it yet? Or is this a copy?’

  ‘No, that’s the one I have to sign.’

  David looked up at her over the document, clearly waiting for an explanation. She hated the way he could reduce her to feeling inadequate, even child-like with just that one look.

  ‘Sorry, David, but I don’t want to do it. I’m just not excited about it.’ She shrugged.

  ‘It’s an amazing opportunity. Look at this, they’re going to train you up in marketing and you could be national marketing manager in a year. Wow, Alice, that’s huge!’

  Yes, I have actually read it, Alice thought.

  Why wasn’t he getting it, hearing her? She wanted to scream with frustration. Instead she tried a different tack. ‘It is a bit strange. I mean, I don’t even have any marketing qualifications. That’s a whole degree right there.’ She really didn’t want to disappoint him, but …

  ‘So? If they didn’t think you were capable they wouldn’t be making the offer. And we really do need the extra money. How do you know you won’t grow to love it if you don’t give it a chance?’

  How else do I say it just doesn’t float my boat?

  ‘A challenge is a good thing,’ he said, misreading her silence. ‘Look how well you did at uni when to start with you didn’t think you could do it. You’ve got to believe in yourself, Alice.’

  ‘It’s not that I don’t think I could do it – with the appropriate training …’

  ‘So, what, then?’

  ‘I’ve told you, it just doesn’t interest me.’ She hated how petty and ungrateful she sounded. But it was the truth. And why shouldn’t she be honest with her partner, the man she loved?

  ‘You can’t keep waiting for a museum job, or whatever, to come up. It might never happen.’

  He was right about that. And that it was an opportunity when she hadn’t found anything else promising.

  ‘And you can’t stay at uni. We’ve discussed this,’ he said, reading her mind, and let out a tired, exasperated sigh. He was right – again. What Alice really wanted to do was stay at university and do honours in History, despite not having settled on an area she really wanted to delve into in depth. She’d just loved university life, full stop. Being surrounded by books and knowledge and people passionate about learning, being encouraged to think for herself, and be analytical had really stretched Alice intellectually for the first time in her life. She’d realised she had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. She hadn’t always found her studies easy, but she’d enjoyed being challenged and had discovered an energy and sense of determination she never knew she had. The three years at uni had been filled with moments of joy and excitement as well as hard work. Now it was over, and she was scared – well, terrified, actually. She really didn’t want to disappoint David. But if she had to get a full-time job, she wanted one she was truly excited about – otherwise she figured she might as well go back to admin temping. Her eyes had been opened, her soul fired up, now she wanted more, to keep moving forward. In that sense, university had proven to be a double-edged sword.

  David should understand that – after all, it was because of him that she’d embarked on her studies in the first place. He’d seen her change, watched as her wings had unfurled, all the time telling her how proud he was of her progress and achievements. Gradually Alice had begun to believe she could be more than a wife and mother in a small town in country South Australia, contrary to her mother’s indoctrination.

  Alice had met David in Adelaide, at a party held by a friend of a friend. Only a few weeks before, her marriage to farmer Rick had imploded. She’d fled Hope Springs, Rick, and her unsupportive mother, Dawn, and her sister, Olivia. Without her dear friend Ruth she might never have had the courage to leave the district. Ruth was a warm, loving mother figure to her, the opposite to Alice’s own mother. She had organised for Alice to stay with her daughter Tracy in Adelaide while Alice tried to pull herself together and deal with two-fold heartbreak – the end of her marriage and losing her best friend of twenty-five years, Shannon, who’d let slip she’d slept with Alice’s husband. Only the once, mind! And it really didn’t mean anything – according to both Shannon and Rick. As if that made a difference!

  In the days and weeks after finding out about the betrayal, Alice struggled with her anger and disappointment. She didn’t know who had hurt her the most, then concluded that Shannon’s actions were the more painful and their friendship was actually the bigger loss. Shannon and Alice had been best friends since meeting on their first day at kindergarten and were the last of their school group still living in the district. One by one their friends had left for a job, a relationship, to study or travel, or just to have a better or different life. Once a close group, these days their interactions were mainly confined to Facebook, email, or the odd text message.

  After the experience with Shannon and Rick, Alice vowed never to let anyone get so close again. Ruth told her the pain would ease and to not let it change her generosity of spirit. Unfortunately Alice thought it probably already had. She came to understand first-hand the meaning of the saying ‘Once bitten, twice shy’.

  Alice hadn’t planned to stay in Adelaide permanently – Hope Springs and its surrounds were all she’d ever known and thought she wanted.

  The last thing on her mind when she met the alluring, friendly, confident and sophisticated David had been finding a new love interest, so instead of being coy or mysterious or flirty, she’d confided in him about what a mess her life had become.

  When David suggested that going to university might be the answer, Alice had been taken aback. She’d never considered it before – she had only been an average student at school and had no burning career desires. She’d always thought she’d work alongside her dad in the family’s corner shop and, being the elder sibling, eventually take over when the time was right. But soon after her father died, her mother had dropped a bombshell – the shop would go to the younger daughter. Olivia was always the golden child, and the chosen one now too. Alice had sought solace in an admin job at the largest business in town – an insurance brokerage. She loved her job, but was shocked when four years in she was let go in favour of the boss’s teenage daughter, who had just returned from secretarial school in Adelaide.

  David pointed out that a few years at university would give Alice time to sort herself out while having a focus, and she could see it made sense. When he added that she could afford to live in the city by working part-time in admin or temping, it became possible, and exciting. Over the weeks and months Alice slowly began to believe him and, more importantly, to believe in herself.

  They were meant to just be friends, but it soon became physical, and gradually they seemed to form a stronger bond. When David announced he was moving to Melbourne, Alice was devastated. He’d become her rock. But then he suggested she could come too, if she wanted to. It wasn’t a marriage proposal or declaration of together forever, or even love. He wasn’t gushy or very emotive, but Alice didn’t mind. David was dependable and supportive and was offering something completely different from her old life, and that was what mattered and appealed. She wasn’t even sure she believed in true love anymore, certainly not happily ever after. Maybe she j
ust needed time.

  Alice made the big move to Melbourne with not much more than a few suitcases and a ten-year-old hatchback car, which she’d sold soon after. Now, nearly four years on, she felt so much bigger than Hope Springs – not better, but that she’d outgrown it – and only went back for significant events such as Christmas, weddings, funerals and milestone birthdays.

  Having found her feet and discovering that she really loved to study, Alice had well and truly left behind her average student status and excelled academically. Being realistic, she knew she had to find a full-time job, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to become an academic, but the extra year of study would surely help her prospects. Four months on from uni – not to mention just turning thirty – she still hadn’t sorted out a proper career. She’d volunteered for a day a week at the National Trust head office in various departments and enjoyed every minute of it, but unfortunately there weren’t any paid jobs going, especially for someone who didn’t have a specialist area of expertise or post-graduate qualifications. She’d love to be in archiving, doing research, helping others with their research, or involved in writing policy, but she hadn’t found any vacancies for jobs that came even remotely close to what interested her.

  At her graduation a few weeks ago she’d felt quite sad when she realised that her university days were behind her and it was unlikely she’d ever be able to go back to study. She was almost on the verge of tears – not at all triumphant and excited like everyone else. It hadn’t helped that none of her family had been prepared to make the trip from South Australia, especially as she was the first in her entire family – cousins included – to go to university, let alone graduate. Alice suspected her mother and sister’s disinterest had more to do with jealousy or tall poppy syndrome than the inconvenience of travelling to Melbourne. It wasn’t a secret that they thought Alice saw herself as high and mighty for leaving Hope Springs, and completely above herself for daring to study at university.