Meant To Be Read online

  ‘Well, it helped that John was recently bought out of the family company and had plenty of cash on hand for me to pay the outstanding bills.’

  ‘Phew for that.’

  ‘Yes. There was also an insurance policy. The payout from that should come soonish. And then there will be the proceeds from the estate to think about. I want to be sensible, do the right thing for my long-term future.’

  ‘Right, then, let’s see what we’ve got to offer.’

  Nathan ran through some of the bank’s choices – the interest rates, potential returns and costs involved, but said if she was talking about investing large amounts she should probably think about seeing one of their visiting financial planners at some point. By the time he finished, Emily’s head was swimming.

  ‘Hey, do you and Jake want to go and do some wineries or have lunch sometime? Sarah’s quite new in town too, and we need to make some friends.’

  ‘I’d love to.’ I should give Jake a proper welcome, too. Maybe over the weekend they could all splurge on lunch with Barbara and David.

  Emily hadn’t visited any of the cellar doors that had popped up on the far side of the district in the past few years. Her deceased husband hadn’t been one for romantic Sunday drives. Farming, football, beer, and sex were the extent of John’s interests. But she was really looking forward to playing tourist with Jake.

  ‘God, this is just like high school all over again, isn’t it?’ Nathan said.

  ‘Ha ha. I’ll see what suits Jake and let you know.’

  And then Emily was on her way back out of town, thinking again about what a whirlwind the past few months had been.

  When she’d driven away from the farmhouse that day with Grace curled up on the passenger’s side floor of the car she’d thought – hoped – it would be the last time she would ever drive this particular dirt road. And now look where she was. Life certainly was full of surprises.

  Lost in her thoughts, Emily was suddenly jolted by two hard clunks as first the front tyre and then the rear one hit a large pothole – one she usually managed to avoid.

  She slowed. The car seemed to be okay, so she continued on. But one thing was for sure; when the insurance payment came through for John’s written-off ute, she would definitely replace it. Now that she owned a farm, she really needed something all-terrain. But what sort? And should she keep the car as well, or was running two vehicles too extravagant?

  She was glad she had Jake to discuss these sorts of things with. Proud as she was of her newfound independence, there certainly were benefits to having a man around.

  Chapter Two

  ‘Hi honey, I’m home!’ Emily called, smiling to herself. What a cliché! I sound like a character from a soap opera. She dumped the four heavy bags of groceries onto the lino floor of the kitchen, then rolled the stiffness out of her neck and shook the circulation back into her fingers.

  ‘Jake?’ She shut the sliding glass door she’d shouldered open moments before. He mustn’t be far away to have left the door unlocked, she thought.

  Emily quickly unpacked the groceries, all the while listening for movement. If Jake was inside he would almost certainly have come to help carry everything in; he was that sort of guy. And Grace would normally have bounded up to greet her. She wandered through the house, but found no trace of either.

  By the time she finished she was starting to get concerned. She checked her watch; almost two p.m. She went to the bedroom to change into her farm clothes, thinking she’d look for them outside. Maybe Jake and Grace were exploring and hadn’t heard her return.

  Entering the room, she said hello to Granny Rose via the big jar of buttons on the tallboy. The old Bushells coffee jar had been her gran’s last gift to her, and together with its precious contents, it meant more to her than anything. Emily wrapped her hands around the cold glass and put her chin on the rough, slightly rusty, faded red lid.

  Again she found herself wondering if Gran had remembered the rough diamonds in there amongst the buttons. The frustrating thing was that she’d never know. But she would have treasured it anyway, even if it weren’t for the diamonds.

  Being a sentimental romantic, Emily loved the button jar for the symbolism it held. Trust Gran to hide her wedding gift from the Indian prince in there. Was it before or after that – because of the precious stones – that she’d decided never to take any buttons out?

  Over the years Emily had seen many added – usually when Gran was cutting up worn-out clothes for rags – and had never understood why Gran would drag her off to the shop to buy new buttons whenever she needed one. One of her favourite things to do as a child – well, actually, even now – was to rotate the tightly closed jar and listen to the hiss, whoosh and rattle the different buttons and other objects made against themselves and the glass.

  She couldn’t believe that in all that time she’d never spotted one of the seven diamonds lurking about in there. Or perhaps she had and had dismissed them as one of the other strange things Gran had added over the years: old coins, buckles, hair clips, the odd seashell. It wasn’t like diamonds in the rough were anything that would catch your attention.

  But what a beautiful, sentimental gift. Emily thought about the prince’s letter – the evidence that the family story had been no myth.

  When Jake had first discovered the diamonds, she had immediately wanted to phone her mother up and gloat, ‘See, Gran was telling the truth.’ But that would have opened one big old jack-in-the-box – and there was no way Jack could be stuffed back in again. She had since decided to keep them a secret. If they found out, Enid and Aunt Peggy would no doubt argue they belonged to them as heirs, and then they’d cash them in for sure.

  Emily was grateful every day for whatever had caused Gran to thrust the button jar into her arms on that last visit, rather than see it end up amongst all the things they’d had to sort through after her death. Back then she wouldn’t have had the courage to defend her choice of keeping such an obviously sentimental – and apparently worthless – item. She was now much more able to stand up for herself. ‘Oh Gran,’ she whispered. ‘I wish you were here to meet Jake. You’d love him.’

  As she absently glanced out of her bedroom window, she looked past the ugly steel skeleton of the half-built hayshed to the pile of rubble behind it. Once it had been her beloved cottage – before John had taken a front-end loader to it.

  Something caught her eye – Jake’s red shirt. It stood out like a beacon against the pile of pale limestone around him. He was sitting amidst the ruins of the cottage, leaning against the base of what had once been the stone chimney to the original outdoor kitchen. Grace was lying at his feet.

  Emily hugged the button jar again, put it back down on the tallboy, and got changed.

  As she made her way over to the pile of rubble, she wondered if she would feel less sad about it if she had it removed. Would she eventually forget what had been there and who had been responsible for its demise?

  ‘Hey there you two,’ Emily called as she approached. Jake looked like he might be snoozing, and she didn’t want to startle him. He and Grace were mostly in the shade, but their legs were stretched out in the sun. Grace raised her head and slapped her tail a couple of times before lying back down and becoming still again.

  ‘Hello,’ Jake said, smiling up at her. ‘How was the thriving metropolis and cesspit of gossip?’

  ‘Thriving,’ Emily said, smiling back. ‘You look like you’ve found a good spot.’

  ‘Sure have. Care to sit?’ He patted the smooth patch of earth beside him.

  ‘Don’t mind if I do,’ she said, sitting down. Grace immediately got up, stepped over Jake’s outstretched legs, and flopped down with her head in her mistress’s lap.

  ‘Hello girl,’ Emily said, giving Grace’s ears a rub as the dog stared up at her adoringly. ‘I thought you’d traded me in for Jake.’

  ‘Not a chance. She was just being polite to the new guy, weren’t you, girl?’ Jake said, reaching over and pa
tting the dog’s belly. As he leant back again he paused to kiss Emily. Her heart surged.

  ‘So, what did you guys get up to while I was out?’

  Jake checked his watch. ‘I’ve actually been sitting here the whole time you’ve been gone,’ he said, frowning.

  ‘Really?’ She looked at him closely. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Are you sure? If you’ve been sitting here all this time without realising…’

  ‘Really, I’m fine. Just feeling a bit washed out.’

  ‘You’d tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn’t you?’ She watched as he plucked at the dried grass. ‘Jake, I’m worried about you. Is it about Shane?’ Emily’s heart began to race a little.

  Jake shook his head, but kept his gaze down.

  ‘There’s a psychologist in town, Jacqueline Havelock, if you think she might be able to help. Or there’s Doctor Squire. Though, it can take a while to get in – one of the pitfalls of country life…’ She shut her mouth abruptly, aware she was babbling. She was scared. What was going on with him?

  Jake looked up and fixed his gaze on her. He looked worse than a bit washed out. There were beads of sweat on his forehead. As he brought his hands into his lap, she saw that they were shaking.

  ‘It’s not a big deal. I didn’t want to worry you. I don’t want to worry you.’

  ‘Now you are worrying me.’ She tried to sound light-hearted, but failed.

  He grasped her hands and took a deep breath.

  ‘Last week, before you came to Melbourne, I saw my GP.’

  ‘Okay. That’s good. And?’

  Emily didn’t like prying, but poor communication had been a problem for her in the past. It had almost lost her Jake and her two best friends, Barbara and David, and she was determined not to repeat her mistakes. She bit her lip in an effort to wait out his excruciating silence.

  ‘I’m fine. Well, I will be fine, in time. I need to take it easy for a bit. Lots of rest. My GP thinks I have adrenal fatigue, but we’ll know more when she gets my test results back.’

  ‘Is it like chronic fatigue syndrome?’

  ‘Quite different, as far as I can tell. With chronic fatigue, you’re always exhausted and just want to sleep. With me, I’m often fuzzy and weary, but not in the way I want to actually sleep. I’m quite tired in the mornings, but I seem to often get a second wind in the afternoons and evenings.’

  I’ve noticed that – in Melbourne and the other night with Barbara and David.

  ‘A lot of the time I feel jittery. It’s like a fight-or-flight response – surging adrenaline – but for no reason. And you can’t stop it.’

  ‘You poor thing, it sounds awful. Did something happen – other than Shane’s death – or is it because you’re too stressed? Until I saw you in Melbourne, you always seemed so okay with everything.’

  ‘I’m always busy with work, and I’ve usually got a lot on my mind. I guess I just accepted that. But Shane’s death seems to have triggered something, tipped me over the edge.’

  Emily felt terrible that their tiff might have contributed to his stress as well. ‘So, did something happen, something specific, that saw you go and see your GP?’

  ‘On Thursday morning – I think it was Thursday, anyway, last week is all a bit of a blur – I was watching the news on TV. Suddenly the noise seemed miles away and I couldn’t make out the specific voices. It was like everything was distorted, out of focus. And then I couldn’t get up. I felt glued to the couch. My heart started racing. I was sweating. And when I thought about what I was meant to be doing, I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t think. It was terrifying. I didn’t know what was happening to me – if I was having some sort of seizure or stroke. Eventually things became clear again, like coming out of a fog. I’d probably only been like that for minutes – maybe half an hour – but it felt like I’d lost a whole day. I didn’t know what else to do, so I phoned the clinic. I was really freaked out. Thankfully they could fit me in that morning.’

  ‘God, you poor thing.’

  ‘I guess it’s being based in a city and dealing with so many stressed people, but my GP picked it straight away. She thinks the test results are just a formality. It’ll be good to know for sure, but it won’t really change anything. Regardless, she wants me to take three to six months off.’

  ‘Can you afford to take that much time off?’

  ‘I don’t see I have a choice. If it happens again, there’s a chance I could find myself totally catatonic, like a complete shutdown, and not be able to move. Imagine if it happened when I was driving.’

  ‘That’s a scary thought.’

  ‘So, I’m looking at Shane’s death as a big wake-up call. If there’s one thing good that can come out of that, I’ll take it. What’s the point of working so hard if it’s just going to kill you? I’ve got some good people working for me. And Sim’s got someone in mind as project manager. I’m not too concerned about the business. And I’m fine for money, thanks to a good insurance policy. I have to focus on getting better, at this stage just take each day as it comes. It’s all about playing it by ear and listening to my body, really.’

  ‘So, Simone knows everything?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Sometimes Emily wished she had a sibling to confide in. ‘And there really isn’t any specific treatment?’

  ‘Just lots of vitamins and long walks in the country. Watching my stress levels and concentrating on getting myself healthy through diet and exercise. I’ve cut way down on caffeine too. I was drinking coffee right through the day. I had no idea how many cups I was having – I always had one on the go in the office.’

  ‘Actually, I had noticed you weren’t drinking so much coffee. And I did wonder about all the vitamins you’ve been taking.’

  ‘Yes, I practically rattle in the mornings now.’

  ‘You know you can always talk to me about things. If this is going to work, I don’t want there to be secrets between us.’

  ‘Thanks for understanding,’ Jake said, pulling her to him and kissing her.

  ‘Of course. I love you,’ she said, snuggling into him. ‘I’ll take good care of you.’

  ‘I love you too.’ After a short cuddle, they sat back and spent a few moments looking about in silent contemplation. Jake was the first to speak. ‘It’s such a shame about the cottage, because there really is something quite magical about this place. It’s got good energy, or something.’

  ‘I felt that the first time I came over here,’ Emily replied, picking up a small stone from beside her. ‘I thought it was the building, but perhaps it’s the trees and nearby creek.’

  ‘Well, I can certainly see why they chose here for their home,’ Jake said.

  In front of them, the dry creek bed twisted its way through the paddock. ‘The stream would have run most of the year before they dammed it way back up in the hills in the nineteen fifties. Why does progress have to be so brutal on the environment?’ Emily said wistfully, running a hand through Grace’s soft fur.

  ‘It doesn’t have to be. The old and new can coexist. I’ve made a business out of blending them. It just takes some thought and sometimes a bit more effort.’

  ‘I bet it isn’t easy convincing people to keep the old when the new is so often cheaper.’

  ‘The people who approach me tend to know and like my work, and be serious about having me involved. There’s not a lot of convincing to be done. I guess I’ve been lucky that there are enough people out there who still have a conscience and also appreciate traditional aesthetics. Speaking of aesthetics, what are you going to do with that?’ Jake said, nodding towards the half-built hayshed a little way off.

  ‘David said he could use the extra storage, so I wouldn’t mind it moved down to the end of the other sheds. I don’t know why John didn’t put it there to start with,’ she said, shaking her head.

  ‘I had a quick look on my way past,’ Jake continued. ‘It’s just bolted together like a giant meccano proj
ect. Shouldn’t be hard to deconstruct.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s what I thought,’ Emily said, rolling her eyes. ‘But I’ve learnt my lesson about trying to do it on my own.’ She was still embarrassed about not knowing how to start the tractor and then getting stuck up the ladder, but was starting to see the funny side of the incident. ‘Thank goodness Barbara and David came along when they did. I might have been stuck up there forever.’

  ‘I think between the two of us we might be able to manage it,’ Jake said, patting her knee. ‘But perhaps it would be more sensible to get David involved. He’d know more about this sort of thing than me. I’ll ask him.’

  ‘I would so love not to have to look at it from the bedroom window each morning. And all this rubble,’ she added. ‘What do you think I should do about it? John said he was going to just push it into the creek.’

  ‘I’ve been sitting here wondering the same thing myself.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘I reckon we sort out that monstrosity and then tackle this. One thing at a time. What do you say?’

  ‘Fair enough. Now, would you like something to eat? I know it’s late, but I got some fresh rolls and ham from the bakery.’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ he said, getting up and then holding out a hand to help her up.

  They walked back to the house with their arms around each other and Grace bounding ahead of them.

  ‘Hey Jake?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘When’s your birthday? Since you know mine, it’s only fair.’

  ‘April twenty-third. I’m coming up to thirty-six.’

  ‘Okay. Great.’

  ‘I’m a Taurus, which I understand is highly compatible with Capricorn – you,’ he added with a cheeky grin.

  Yes, yes, YES! ‘Oh, really? Cool,’ Emily said, impressed at how nonchalant she’d managed to sound. ‘I don’t know much about astrology,’ she added with a shrug, and put a little skip into her step.

  Chapter Three

  An hour later, Jake had just announced he was making a bolognaise sauce for dinner when the phone started to ring.